Scammers on dating sites: when "love" ends with a request for money

An attentive, attractive person, long chats, plans to meet, and then a sudden emergency or a "great investment". How to recognise a romance scam.

Romance scammers are ready to chat with you for weeks or months. Their goal is to win your trust and then ask for money.

How the story develops

1. First contact. On a dating site, on social media, or a "wrong number" in a messenger app. The person is very attractive, often a soldier, a doctor, an engineer on an oil platform or a successful businessman abroad.
2. Getting close. A lot of attention, compliments, daily messages, talk about a future together. Video calls never seem to "work".
3. The request. A problem appears: they are held at customs, they need surgery, their bank account is blocked, they do not have enough money for a ticket to visit you. Or they suggest you "earn together" on an investment platform.
4. Again and again. After the first transfer, new reasons appear, and the amounts grow.

Signs of a scam

• the person refuses video calls or turns on the camera only for a second;
• they say they love you very quickly;
• they live far away or abroad, and the meeting is always postponed;
• they ask you to keep the relationship secret;
• any request for money, gift cards or cryptocurrency from someone you have never met in person.

How to check the person

• search for their photos with a reverse image search: they are often stolen from real people;
• ask for a video call with a specific gesture, for example showing three fingers;
• tell your family or friends about the situation: people from the outside often see the scam more easily.

If you have already sent money

Do not feel ashamed: these scams are designed to target good, trusting people. Stop sending money, save the messages and payment details, and contact your bank and the police. You can add the scammer's username, number or profile to the registry so that they do not deceive the next person.